| for everybody. |
[03 Jun 2007|04:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
hi! i havent updated in a while. this entry will be full of random thoughts, errors and spelling mistakes because i only have limited time on a computer because my laptop is brokjen.
things are eally great for me. i graduate in a week and a half and i couldn't be anymore happier. on june 13th i wal;k acrossd the stage to get my diploma, on june 27th is my prom and then i'm done highschool forever.
the art school i go to now doesnt feel like school. it doesnt feel welcomming. it just feels like a place im obliged to go to everyday. i dont enjoy calling it my school. seeing as school is almost over for me, i look forwrd to hanging out with a lot of you. i get my N july 11th which will make things easiert.
i'm kind of a drifter, you know, comming and going at the same time, never here nor there. i kind of enjoy that. a loner. a lot of people assume they know me because of what they read about me/hear about me. its quite entertaining actually, because for the most part, none of it is true.
over the past few weeks i've become more serious abot things. actually, i'm not too sure if i've become more serious or more disconnected, eitherway its a good change i blieve. i like that i am able to break away from something or something very easily, with out linking any emotion. maybe it's bad that i dont put my heart into relationships? is it wrong to just not give a fuck?
i'm tired of the same old rumours about me. start creating new ones. oh, and if we havent met, please believe EVERYTHING you've EVER heard about me.
i long for california, being in the sunshine everyday, SOUND AND FUUUUUUUUURY, not having to worry about running into people i don't like, surfing, blonder hair, tanned skin. boy oh booooooooooy. i don't really enjoy the company of certain people, and i've learned that is okay. i;ve learned i dont have to pretend that someone is nice even though they are complete fuckheads for the sake of not being a bitch. that doesnt mean i'm going to start being a bitch. i dont think i ever could. i'd make too many people cry. :)
i started playing soccer/volleyball again. i'm trying to lose this winter weight i've put on. i want to get in shape for summer, get skinny, i'm talking 108 lbs, that'd be heaven. i'm not too sure if i could get down there because more of my weight is muscle weight, but it'll be worth a shot. i started eating healthier, going for runs every morning, no more binge eating etc.
to my friends, thank you for being there when i needed you. you know who you are. specific people stand out in my head. there is no need to mention your names here but you have been there if i have ever needed advice, a shoulder to cry on, a laugh, a movie/cake to share with, a hand to hold, lips to kiss, an adventure to go on, a silly face, and someone to dance with. to those of you questioning if you are my friend or not, you aren't. if you'd like to be my friend, make your name known to me and if we get along then the more the merrier.
in closing, if you run your mouths and are still shit talking me you're probably
a) ugly
b) hate yourself and your life
c) know i'm funner than you
d) have a mother that should have swallowed you instead
e) have poor social skills
f) are a loser
g) take pride in putting people down because thats the only way you can feel good about yourself
h) some lame hardcore dude/girl who claims to hate me but still wants to see my n00dz (which definetly do exist) which would follow by either jerking off, or wishing your ass looked that fucking good
and/or
i) do not have a life outside of the internet and your part time, dead end minimum wage job
calling me a "slut" or a "whore" doesn't degrade me, or make me feel bad about myself. to say the least it makes me feel fucking awesome because it means that i get way more action than you. i'm not conceited, i'm just confident.
xoxoxoxoxox
d.e.
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| eight and a half weeks |
[22 Apr 2007|12:11pm] |
my grad dress is looking amazing.
grad slep over was fun. alexa and i had a danceoff, hahaah. i'm so good at driving. drive with me. you will see.
CBK was on thursday. it as great to see casey and andrew.
all my life is right now is bio, art, and english lit. it kinda rules. i'm not submitting the AP portolio. i dont have enough time. kill meeeeeeee.
i went tanning on friday for the first time this year with amanda, i cant wait to go again!! we are going to get daaaaaaaaaaark!
the weather here has been shitty for the past two/three weeks. cloudy and gloomy and rainy.
pizza with sarah tomorrow after school. i'm very exciteddddd. i think her and i are going to get some gelato too, mmm.
adam comes home in less than a month now! i can't wait to see him. i'm very excited.
i am EXTREMELY EXCITED for amanda's birthday BBQ and the all girls BBQ where i will be the Master Griller. yummyyyy.
okay, time to paint, byebye.
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| so much to do |
[16 Apr 2007|09:17pm] |
-finish drawing
-study bio
-do lit essays
-shop
-do slide show for prom
life is great. i'm so happy. kinds stressed, but fuck, everything is worth it. last night was weird. don't wanna write about it on here.
my hair is getting long. i want to surf, i want to skate. i need new vans and nikes, and new dresses and shirts, i need hella ca$h. give me clothes, give me jewerly.
an' we still ridin'.
str8 fuggin'.
'ain't no hood like WHALLEYWOOD.
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| butterflies in my tummy. |
[16 Apr 2007|03:48am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 excited |
] |
so much to do, so little time. everybody, i love you, but please LEAVE ME ALONE TIL PROM. <3
boyz are gaaaaaay. dykesfolyfe. wanna make out?
i'm getting skinny, and gonna start tanning. i need to reach my goal of 108.
strength in solitde.
xoxox
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| nine weeks |
[15 Apr 2007|05:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 anxious |
] |
fuck.
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| Dear Everybody: |
[08 Apr 2007|02:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 content |
] |
I'm happy. It's like somebody slipped me some Ativan and I'm flying sky high. I'm so in love with graduating in like 10/9 weeks. MY GOD.
Reilly, I'm going to miss you.
Friday was so wonderful. I saw Jon for a bit, we walked down to Denman and Beach and just talked about crazy shit. He left for Virginia today. Friday was so beautiful and warm. The smell outsidewas AMAZING! Freshly cut grass and BBQ! At night Ijust walked around outside by myself, it was great. Then I came home, and collapsed on my bed because it was late.
I can't wait for the girls night in BBQ at Sarah's. I'm so stoked.
It's been so nice yesterday and today that i've just been wearing undies around the house.
I'm contended with being alone. I don't need a boyfriend to be happy, looks like i'll be single for long time. Fuck a boyfriend.
xoxoxox
(PS, BNS just called me, and hesaid he was laying in bed, but I heard a girl in the back ground. What the fuck? Kinda bumming.)
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| Piss, Vomit, Shit, True Love. |
[02 Apr 2007|09:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 amused |
] |
I saw Sam and Reilly today, that was awesome. I missed Reilly a lot, even though he smelled. I don't know why I kept on sniffing his armpits.
I was talking to Gian, and he sent me a video of him drunk. Made me laugh sooooooooo hard. I sent him the picture of me taking a piss,  he laughed and said that he wants a picture of himself puking. That's wonderful.
I've always wanted a boyfriend so that I could clean up his vomit and take care of him while he's sick/ripped. That'd be great. I'd give him kisses on the cheek and back rubs and I'd bake him apple crumble. I'd give him sponge baths if he threw up on himself/pissed himself/shat himself. Man, THAT'S love. Actually, yup. That's what I want one day. I want a boy who I am so in love with, I would whipe his ass.
I don't even think I've ever had a real relationship ever. Well I a mean, I'm still in highschool. Everbody knows highschool relationships don't count. All these situations with guys on the road haven't been real. I'm not worried about being single, I enjoy it. When the time comes I'll know, he'll know, we'll know.
I do the fucked up shit I do because that's who I am. If people can't appriciate it/get offended by it then I'm sorry, this is just me. I want a boy to fall in love with me BECAUSE of how much of a retard I am. I used to be kind of more uptight about not letting the actual me show through, but I decided that is just stupid. Why should I have to put on an act for people who are supposed to be my friends?
I'm not classy (well I could be if I wanted to), I don't want to act like that. I'm 17. I want to do retarded things and act like an idiot. I have self respect and dignty (I guess) but whatever, I'll grow up one day. Let me be immature, worry about yourself.
I find that when women go take shits/pee in public bathrooms they get so embarresed, like it's a naughty thing if someone hears you. So they politely ask you to turn on the tap, so that you can't hear them. One day, I want to have an extreme case of exploding diarrhea,  and go to a huge public bathroom, and take THE LOUDEST shit/shart and walk out and have everyone stare at me and say "like you've never had diarrhea" and wash my hands and peace out.
Did any of this make any sense at all?
xoxox.
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| uuuuuuuugh. |
[31 Mar 2007|09:24pm] |
|
i should just go and fuck myself.
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| summer is around the corner. |
[28 Mar 2007|02:02am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sleepy |
] |
today i felt something i've been waiting months for.
on the way home from school as i was driving, i felt the sun beaming down on me, making me warm. made me smile so much.
i had a dream last night that i weighed 100 lbs. haha my god, best dream ever. i gained almost 10 lbs over the break. now i'm at 126 lbs. fuck.
my goal by june is to be 105-110 lbs. honestly, it feels lke i can do it. i know i can. no more eating late at night, no more shitty foods, time to start watching the calories again. i need to get back in shape.
bed time.
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| Uuuugggggh |
[25 Mar 2007|09:00pm] |
I really miss Holy Cross.
:(
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| Reminiscing. |
[25 Mar 2007|04:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nostalgic |
] |
I just read a bunch of old emails from last year.
Makes me kind of miss you-know-who.
Endless bummerrrrrrrr.
Whatever.
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| "HEY EVERYBODY, COME SEE HOW GOOD I LOOK." |
[23 Mar 2007|12:12am] |
| [ |
mood |
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excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Discharge - "State Control" |
] |
I'm about to watch Anchorman with my mom. She deserves a laugh.
I just watched Little Miss Sunshine. It was great. The main character, Olive, was so awkwardly cute. I loved her. There were tons of parts in that movie that made me want to cry. I think I'll put on some Elliot Smith tonight or watch the Royal Tenenbaums to get a good tear out. You know, work the lungs a little.
I'm on Spring Break. All my friends are in Europe/Mexico/Southern America and I'm here. Boooo. Basically, what my break has consisted of so far is writing essays. Fuck! I've hardly gotten to paint OR draw, totally bums me out. I cleaned a bit today to take a break from writing essays. God, do I ever love cleaning. Hire me to clean your place? I don't charge much. I am fast and efficient!
I want to do soooooo much!! I wanna make some summer dresses, finish that drawing of Scap, finish my paintings, and play beach volleyball! Speaking of beach volleyball.....
I GRADUATE IN 13 WEEKS!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! Then I'm off to Emily Carr! Oh right, for anybody who doesn't know, I got accepted! Sweet!
I'm really stoked on life for the following reasons:
- I start my tattoo apprenticeship in the fall
- summer (socal for 2 weeks, ultimate hang outs and hang 10s!)
- studying abroad in AUSTRALIA
- I've got 3+ make up clients very soon
- I'm happy and that's all that matters
P.S. I'm still unemployed. Know any good places where I can work night shifts?
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| Fourteen More Weeks! |
[15 Mar 2007|01:32am] |
| [ |
mood |
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optimistic |
] |
Wooooow!!! I can't believe I'm done highschool sooooooo soon.
I cannot wait. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
I'm growing up, but I don't feel matureat all. I'm such a child. I like it though, but in a way, it's not so great. I need to be more responsible and organized, and be more of a lady and LESS SELFISH.
Ohhhh my, I'm in need of some change.
In other news, I start my driving lessons soon. Thank god. I get so scared to drive. I'm a wuss. Hahaha, oh man, and my car, WHAT A JOOOOOOOOOOKE. It's an '81 Oldsmobile, HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHA. Fuck!! I want to lower it, and put some phat rims on that shit, make it look HOOD RICH. However, considering I live in the Canadian equivalent of compton, they'd probably get stolen, somebody's already broken the window trying to steal it. How ghetto.
What I'd really like is a:
However, I think cute Jetta, Passat, Civic or Celica is more realistic. :(
One day I'll get my Bee Em Dub, maybe even a Jag?
Oh, and hi Reilly, I know you're reading this.
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| I'm jealous of anybody who's ever been in love... |
[08 Mar 2007|10:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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manitoba |
] |
...anybody who thinks of something, and their heart skips beats, and they know that when the someone they are thinking about, thinks aout them, that persons heart skips beats too.
Looks like it's going to be another summer alone.
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| "And in this moment, I am happy." |
[06 Mar 2007|08:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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cold play |
] |
Have you ever been so genuinely happy you don't care about anything? I'm on cloud nine right now. Despite the fact that times are hard, I am keeping a chin up, and am just so happy about everything. This is grave, honest happiness I can feel through my body.
God, I love life.
<3
P.S. Grad in 15 WEEKS! I still need a date. :(
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| Oh, to be a teenager. |
[03 Mar 2007|12:36am] |
| [ |
mood |
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cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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cold war kids |
] |
"Is that a hickie on your neck?"
"No way mom, you're crazy."
:)
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| Mhmmm |
[25 Feb 2007|11:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 happy |
] |
Dearest Ms. Rotaru:
Hi. How are things? Good? Thats nothing short of lovely to hear. I am just writing to let you know that i think you're really, really great. The highlight of Vancouver since I have returned after the holidays even. I just thought i would let you know, because sometimes letting people know these things is nice to do.
As sincerely as possible,
xo T. Reilly Hodgson
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